Another day, another blog post where it's way too late and I should be sleeping, but instead, I'm here writing because there's way too much God is doing in my life not to share. So I would love to say with no doubts, I am thrilled to be leaving in less than four months for the race, but in fact, that is not the truth or the reality of what is going on in my mind. As the time comes closer and closer I find myself, completely satisfied with where I am in life. Honestly, I've never been more content and full of joy in my entire life than I am right now. But yet, being too comfortable does not lead to growth or character building, both of which I need. Being complacent is not an option, and being satisfied with what I know is not where God is calling me to be. So, with that being said It's finally time for me to sacrifice just a little bit of my time, for the Creator of the world. It's crazy because God's story would totally continue just fine without me, but yet He's calling me, to be a follower of His. I pretend like going on a mission trip is a choice, but it has NOTHING to do with me. I am just doing what He calls, and all I know is that God is in control. As I continually battle the idea of taking up my cross and going on a nine-month trip, I am reminded of the disciples. It's so cool that those disciples were called on and then went immediately, and were told to not even say goodbye or look behind them. Geeze Peter and Andrew didn't even get their fish. BUT YET THEY FOLLOWED. you know what's so cool about that story, they didn't question God once. They forgot everything they once knew, for the One who gave them all they knew. I myself on the other hand am not like that at all. I am consistently asking God WHY? and HOW? and always trying to negotiate with the ALPHA and OMEGA. God is the beginning and the end, and yet I still ask what His plan is for me, and why it's me. I told myself if the disciples can do it so can I. HAHA but that's a lie, if the disciples did it, that means GOD can do it through me. 

You see, God is bigger than I ever give Him credit for. Because in my mind, going on this trip is stripping me from people I love the most; but those people were giving to me by God, so who am I to say I do not want to leave them. Because all things are giving to us by God, for God, and if I'm not actively living like that then I missed the whole point. So in that, I will rest in His Great all-knowing hands, because my doubts and fears don't scare Him. In Him there's freedom. 

2 Timothy 1:7 "For God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."