ALWAYS JESUS, never me

So so so…..just another night another blog when I talk about things that I doubt anyone cares to hear. But my only hope for these long-winded blogs is that if this helps one person to see how cool Jesus is then that’s more than enough. And if not, then I will look back and see God working in my life:). So, just like all my other blogs, I’m going to be honest, because if you know me you know I never exaggerate 😉 (jokes). SO anyway to the point, I leave for boot camp in 8 sleeps, and do you think I’m prepared? Well, obviously I’m already packed, but the reality of that statement is I’m lying. I don’t have a tent, not sure what clothes to bring, and haven’t looked to make sure my flights are still on (so that’s good, don’t tell anyone). But that’s just me. Here’s the thing, God is making me a person of presents. Okay, I know that sentence didn’t make sense, but I’ll explain. No, I’m not giving gifts, but I have been learning to be PRESENT. I’m learning to enjoy every moment and to be and live out where I am in order to build His kingdom. I’m learning to not be a hypocrite, and embrace God in all aspects of life. My recent prayer is that Jesus will strip people of seeing me, to actively seeing HIM. I do not want people to rely on me but the Lord. A lot of people always say I have an abundance of Joy, but my prayer is that they see that joy only comes from knowing this chaotic world is not in my hands but His. And this His mercies are new every morning, so may I live my life with that reminder. And can I just tell you that praying these words is scary, for a heart that needs consistent humbling. I’ll be honest, I like people liking me, and thinking I’m rad (even though no one thinks that’s lol) but, my mindset needs a change. Everything given to me is from HIM so I pray I start living out His goodness, and not my selfish desires. I do not want to wait to be on the “mission field” to be spreading the love of Jesus, but living it out NOW, every breathing second I have. Since this is not my home, I need to take advantage of every moment to spread His endless hope for humanity. Never thought I would say it, but being on fire for the Lord is so cool, and I want everyone to see it, even if it’s not normal or rad. No matter what life brings my way I want to be present not only with the community I’m around but most importantly with the Lord. Okay, since I’m being honest, I’ve always been a present person, but not so much with God. I’ve never intentionally sought out the Lord until this year. I’ve always had time for Him when I was sad, or on a Sunday morning, or if I was bored, but never in humble adoration for who He is. So with that being said, I’m NOT PREPARED AT ALL, because I’m a slacker, and have loved spending time with people and Jesus over anything. In order for me to be prepared for anything, my heart has to be prepared first. Me and Jesus have been talking and I’m only prepared if He’s by my side (and I’ll tell you a secret…He is always by my side). As I watch how powerful, and purposeful He is I’m always in awe. As I continually learn to abide in the Lord, I also have found Him preparing my heart and mind, to rest my worries on him. Because if you know me you know I’m BIG and TOUGH!!!! (Jokes) but the Lord is making me weak in Him. And I know that sounds weird, but it is so beautiful. I’m watching the Lord humble my prideful heart day by day, and grow in His steadfast grace daily. I’m scared, worried, not prepared, and tired, but Jesus goes before me and makes a resting spot in his PRESENTS. because Jesus is cool, tough, and strong and I am not.

 “And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?” (Matthew 6:30). 

 {-ALWAYS JESUS, never me}